Life Itself is Grace
“ I couldn’t concentrate on the economics lecture. For the fifth time in as many minutes, I dug through my backpack, heart pounding and chest tightening. Relief washed over me as my fingers, once again, curled around what they were searching for- my keys. I didn’t want to lock myself out of my car or lose my keys. I didn’t need to be in any situation where I would need to ask for help (from my college years, 1996).”
“ I love my neighbors. We had an impromptu party last night, blocking off the street, setting up sprinklers, wading pools, and the BBQ. Kids and adults gathered for a good time and delicious food. (Sept, 2011)”
“This morning, after days of heavy rain, the sun appeared. I went for a run through the forest. Sunlight filtered through a thick vapor that was billowing off the mossy tree trunks. The water droplets on the tips of the pine needles and leaves appeared as thousands of tiny glittering diamonds. It was so beautiful, tears came to my eyes. (a journal entry from October, 2013)”
Three word pictures, random snapshots from my journals; I share them here as I think about the idea of grace. It’s easy to see grace in the beauty of nature or the camaraderie of friends at a party, but grace is just as much a part of the story in the snapshot from my college years, the one that describes the panic attacks and severe anxiety that were a part of my life at that time.
From my experiences with anxiety, I’ve learned to depend on someone greater than myself, Jesus. From those experiences, I’ve learned to reach out to others who feel just as alone as I did, with a greater understanding and level of empathy than I would have had, had I not gone through this myself. That is grace.
“Life itself is grace.”- Fredrick Buechner
Like pieces of a puzzle, the good, the painful, and the mundane moments- they all fit together to make us who we are. Only God sees the complete picture.
“All moments are key moments”- Fredrick Buechner
I write because I want to pay attention. I’m looking for grace- and I'm finding it. Some people take photos, others paint beautiful pictures, and the list goes on. I think when people create art, in it’s many different forms, they are paying attention. God created us this way, because in paying attention, we find grace.
